The StickDudes decided they were bored with Stick TV yesterday (it’s mostly black & white) and they watched a bit of Sky instead … I got a bit fed up because of the wall-to-wall coverage Hack/Smack/SmokesomefuckingCrack Hack Gate is getting, but I like my dudes, so I chilled out with them and had a peek – and then in a moment of cast iron ‘you can’t buy this sort of shit’ fuckwittery a founding member of UKuncut, one Jonathan May-Bowles assaulted Rupert Murdoch, and the StickMen got confused.
StickDudes: Yo Skip – did that ‘Young-educated-Middle Class-with-a-double barrel- surname-how-hard-can-his-life-really-be-and-he-lives-in-fucking-Windsor-to-boot-too’ Class Warrior just attack the old dude?
Skip: Yes he did guys
Skip: He’s Left Wing guys, let me explain…
I then told the dudes about the Sith Lord Murdoch and his evil Death Star paper, and how it wanted to burn the children of Harry Potter with non eco friendly laser beams just for the lulz or something, and of how it had also been caught hacking into voicemails and that was actually quite naughty, and that now the evil Emperor Murdoch Plague Master had to explain himself.
I then said that at this point the Left wet its collective pants like an excited puppy does when it gets some attention. They dribbled and squealed and they knew that the force was with them and that the eviiiiiil RightWing would forever be cast into the pit of despair.
But then, well … One of them decided he’d be their hero, and on Live Tellybox managed to portray Mr Murdoch as a victim by assaulting him (before getting his arse kicked by a Laydee, again on Live TV!!) – no mean feat that – and something Murdoch would I suspect have paid tip-top dollar for.
The StickDudes raises their collectives 2HB eyebrows and asked ‘What teh fuck’ So I then explained about Charlie Gilmour, and how this poor, wretched downtrodden adoptive son of a Multi-millionaire, desecrated a war memorial … on camera, in a protest. The StickDudes were now very confused as to why posh kids felt the need to make such complete bellends of themselves.
I saved the best for last though as I cranked up the Irony Klaxon. ‘Dudes’ I said, ‘This bit is ace – UKuncut are now saying they were unaware of Jonathan May-Bowles intentions, and that although he is a founding member of their group, he did something bad without their knowledge … Which is exactly what Mr Murdoch was saying yesterday … Irony for table two with a side order of ‘you fucking idiots!’
At this point the StickDudes burst out laughing so I showed them Jonnie Marbles Comedy You Tube Clip – and they stopped, quite quickly actually, and so did I – it really is quite poor and if you’ve clicked on that link I’m sorry – truly … It’s shit 😦